It's very weird reading my previous posts... my journey from "I'll never let go of the idea of God" to "I think I'm an atheist" has been remarkably brief, but it hasn't felt like it. It feels like I've been heading this direction for ages but simply now allowing myself to think about it... not wanting to leave the comfy fold of religion. Now that I'm here, it feels like it's been a whirlwind.
Yesterday I filled my Google Reader with a couple dozen atheist blogs - it's like an addiction - I LOVE reading them! And along the way, so many bloggers are pointing me to crazy conservative Christian blogs and videos and it FREAKS ME OUT that I was associated with these people!
But there's a real freedom that has come from shedding irrational beliefs. All those "God" questions are no longer vexing - they simply dissolve in the light of truth and reality. It is incredibly peaceful.
But how can God be both all powerful and all good? Simple, he can't because he doesn't exist.
How can we reconcile the fact that some prayers are answered and some aren't? No prayers are answered. There is no God to answer prayers.
Why are there so many contradictions in the Bible? Because the Bible was written by PEOPLE. No divine inspiration necessary.
Why does God seem so cruel sometimes in the Old Testament? Because those were ancient, barbaric times, and ancient, barbaric people. They're the ones who told these stories. Their God matched their culture.
I suppose I could go on all day (this is nothing new to anyone who has been out of Christianity for awhile, or never been in it.) But I actually find this fun! It's like, finally... FINALLY... my questions are answered!
And I'm no longer striving to live up to the demands of an external Being but rather trying to live well and be a good person for the sake of goodness itself. Not because God demands it of me but because I demand it of myself.
And how preposterous it is, to think that morality can only come from God! More on this later.