Everything is different.
My questioning and pushing the boundaries has led me completely out of religion altogether.
There's no god, no heaven, no hell. I don't even know anymore if there's a spiritual dimension at all. Is there anything transcendent? Is there a "divine" outside of humans? Is there an "energy" force of love and hate, or good and evil? Does it make sense to pray to "the universe"?
My favorite blogs these days are Friendly Atheist and Godless Girl.
I'm reading a very good book, Why I Am a Buddhist by Stephen T. Asma. It's worthwhile to note that Buddhists are atheists.
My biggest struggle at the moment isn't so much internal. While my evolution continues, I'm feeling fairly peaceful about it. But there's this external tension. It's how my current journey clashes with where my kids are. They're all gung-ho for Jesus, more than ever. And it's very tough to navigate.
I have already figured out that it would be a bit too scary and jarring for them if I was truthful about my own path. It will have to come with time, as they mature and are able to handle the dissonance.
Of course, I don't have any friends who've been where I am and could help me - as far as I know!