I'm reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan because I have to lead a discussion of it in my crappy church-lady book club.
It's torture reading it. I hate it.
I keep asking myself how to take the "good" from these books and simply ignore the parts I don't resonate with. But it's like separating the coffee from the cream once they're mixed. Too hard.
Once I admitted to myself that I couldn't believe in a personified God, and that I truly believe all religions are human-created stories for the purpose of making sense of our experience, I was just "done." Christianity is awesome for giving people comfort and hope but it no longer gives me either one of those. I'm having a hard time figuring out how to land in a place like Borg or even McLaren, disbelieving parts of Christianity but keeping the heart of it.
I can't make it make sense. Sadly, Dawkins and William Lobdell have resonated with me stronger than anything else I've read.
Every argument that ends in "too bad - that means you won't be in heaven" feels so silly to me because I can't believe in heaven. And that's what Francis Chan does...he lays on the guilt really thick, saying basically most church goers are "lukewarm" Christians, meaning they're not Christians at all, and he says "and we won't see you in heaven."
Then he says - "but I'm not trying to make you feel guilty!"
Ugh. What a load of bullshit.
My challenge this Tuesday will be to lead this discussion in a way that is actually helpful for these women.
By the way, it's not that I don't believe in a "more." I've always thought there was a spiritual realm. But I think I'm pretty much a new-ager at heart and always have been.
If I'm wrong, I guess I won't get to see my friends in heaven.