As I continue slogging through this journey, I find myself desperately wishing I could still believe in a personified God. But I can't.
I've been telling myself "Just drink the Kool Aid." Life would be easier, I'd be in the club. I'd know what to do with doubt and fear and anger and failure... just give it to God!
I still believe there is "more." A force? The "universe" as they say in New Age. But the personified God of the bible is no more real that Zeus or Athena or Ganesha. I am really trying hard to understand it all metaphorically but so far I can't separate myself from Christianity's literalism.